We laugh when we’re delighted. We laugh when we are embarrassed. We laugh when we want to cry. We laugh when our anxiety balloon is stretched so tight it’s ready to burst. And sometimes we forget to laugh, and we fall apart. But not today. Today we’re going to laugh with my friend, Penny LeGate, and enjoy how her inherent silliness helped her survive the BIG DAY her career was launched.
Penny was in her 20s when she started her BIG DAY with a prepaid air ticket to Pittsburgh in hand. This smart and savvy dynamo who looked like a bubbly blond cheerleader from Nebraska (she was) set out to land her first TV news job as her authentic self. No more pulling her long blond hair back in a ponytail or lowering her voice to sound serious or donning horned rim glasses to look more intelligent. Blond hair teased and coiffed into a Farrah Fawcett hairdo, tightly cinched into her favorite sleeveless navy-blue dress with the voluminous swingy skirt and wearing a pair of ‘F*#K me’ shoes — ultra-high-heeled backless mules, with a single piece of leather across the toes. Penny was dressed for success (Nebraska style), ready for her interview at KDKA-TV. Her new brown briefcase was ready to be filled with exciting assignments. Of course she’d get the job, she had been the valedictorian of her graduating class and sailed through undergrad and graduate school on a full ride academic scholarship. Thrilled, secretly a tad nervous, Penny boarded the jet, primed and ready to be launched.
And, launched she was—physically— the second after the plane landed, door opened, and Penny took her first step on the mobile staircase pushed against the door. One of the 5” heels of Penny’s ultra-chic ‘F*#K me’ shoes caught the metal edge of the first stair, stopping her forward momentum so abruptly that she was catapulted into the air, serenaded by the sound of the heel snapping off. Tumbling headfirst, rolling over and over, (ass over teakettle), full skirt catching the wind like a big blue and tan parachute, she landed in a disgraceful pile on the tarmac, punctuated by the other heel snapping off. Not quite the arrival of Penny’s dreams—fancy big hair updo mussed, and her flouncy, no longer pristine skirt wound around her waist like an old bed sheet.
Sitting on the ground, stiff and bruised, deflated, but not defeated, Penny staggered to her feet to collect the ‘you F*#ked me’ heels. The startled ground crew dusted her off and told her to immediately file a claim for her damaged shoes. Ignoring the impossibility of walking on shoes with curved soles, where the heel is designed to be 5” higher than the ball of the foot, Penny, the undaunted, needed to protect her brand-new pantyhose. The befuddled claims clerk hurriedly wrote her a check for $60, even though Penny asked for $40. Clerk thinks, Whew! Lawsuit avoided. Penny thinks Woohoo! I just made $20 — things are looking up!
Money in her pocket, loser shoes in the nearest trash can, Penny decides to let her precious pantyhose rip and tear. Hailing a cab as a bedraggled, shoeless woman with a big briefcase is a different experience for this bubbly blond cheerleader from Nebraska. The taxi drivers slow down and gawk, but no one dares stop. Finally, a kind, or desperate, or sight-impaired cabbie decides to take a chance on a psycho-looking shoeless woman and picks her up. Frantically, Penny tells her tale at 4x speed. Late for her interview. No idea where the television station is. What to do about shoes? Chance of a lifetime is fading away!
“Wait a minute,” says the kind taxi driver. “KDKA-TV is near a large department store.”
Cab screeches to a stop. Penny jumps out. Ignores the stares. Runs up the escalator in torn pantyhose, praying they won’t snag in the metal strips when reaching the top and the stairs rotate under the landing. Yikes! Finally, she spies the shoe department, but what? No one will wait on this wanton-looking, out-of-breath woman. Penny holds her big brown briefcase in front of her chest and yells, “I need to buy shoes right now!” No shit.
All of a sudden, her lucky star shines on a pair of ‘F*#K me’ shoes, $60. Penny grabs the shoes and a new pair of pantyhose, throws her money on the counter and dashes to the Ladies room. By now, Penny’s feet are filthy. She hops around while hoisting one foot and then the other into the sink attempting to scrub them clean. Glancing in the mirror, Penny starts to giggle. Several disgusted Pittsburgh society women sitting in the plushy lounge chairs are sneering as they sneak a peek in their gilded mirrors, pretending to powder their noses. Ignoring them, Penny wriggles into the new pantyhose, washes her face, cinches her belt, straightens her dress, slips on the ‘don’t you dare F*#K me’ shoes and toddles off to the TV station.
A tall, bespeckled man in a blue plaid suit with short-cropped hair, stiff as a board, is waiting for her in the lobby. He’s the assistant news director, Scott Lynch, and he’s scowling. Scott sits behind his desk, staring, as she starts babbling on about why she’s late, and then Penny begins to laugh —a lot — about the hilarity of her ‘career launch.’ Scott refuses to smile, not a freckle on his face moves. He sits back in his fancy office chair, hands folded in his lap, and listens, slowly rocking back and forth. Through her tears of laughter, Penny thinks this is one humorless guy. No way I’m getting this gig!
After a short chat, abbreviated tour of the TV station, brief introductions to several folks, and a once-over assessment by a snobbish female producer whose eyes linger on Penny’s shoes, Scott ushers her into his office and offers her a job! $12,000/year, starvation wages in an expensive city like Pittsburgh, but Penny LeGate’s career is off to a flying start! (I can’t resist a good pun.) She went on to become an anchor, reporter and documentary producer, finishing her award-winning career in Seattle WA as news anchor at KIR07 after leaving her position as longtime host of KING 5’s Evening magazine. As a freelancer, Penny covered stories across the globe, from Ethiopia (click HERE to watch the documentary she did for us) and Rwanda to Nepal and Vietnam. Her stories frequently chronicle the struggles of developing nations, such as Africa’s AIDS orphans, Ebola, access to water, maternal health care, and empowerment of women and girls.
Wise Woman Words
“Celebrate the Silly!”
—Penny LeGate
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