Many of us feel like we are caught in the middle of a swirling vortex when our inbox overflows with threats, rumors, and edicts. One day, you read that the Department of Education is being closed. Your heart clutches with fear. “Hey, what about my kids and grandkids? The next day, you learn that the national parks are being closed. The dark cloud of uncertainty descends. “Can we still take the vacation we planned?” Then you hear skads of air traffic controllers are being fired. Panic attack. “Will my plane crash?” Fear of the Unknown. Fear of Being Fired. Fear of Being Sidelined. Fear of Being Blamed. Fear of Losing Benefits. . . Whoa – Slow Down!
Pause and acknowledge that you are afraid. The fear you are feeling is real at this moment in time. You are in pain. Fortunately, this moment will pass. . . life will go on and you will survive. Wait for your mind to calm and your thoughts to clarify before you take action.
When it was announced that most foreign aid was being cut off, regardless whether it was already under contract, I was at Rancho la Puerta for Wisdom Seekers week. Ripples of concern became waves of fear as the news spread. Most participants were involved in helping those less fortunate, and suddenly, anger and anxiety flared. This carefully curated environment for replenishment and self-care felt threatened. Fortunately, Sylvia Boorstein, American author, psychotherapist, and Buddhist teacher, was our meditation leader. She reminded us to pause and focus on our breathing. Why? Taking three deep breaths allows the mind to clear and opens up space so possibilities can percolate.
Here are Sylvia’s teachings translated into the DREAM (Desire, Reflect, Explore, Acknowledge, and Mantra) framework of activities found in The Magic of Yes.
Desire: I want to feel comfort and safe in times of fear and uncertainty
Reflect: Happiness means being content to not make things worse.
What is happening now is simply what is happening now. We don’t know what will happen next. No one knows. It’s an insecure world. Life is challenging for everyone – but it is not agony for everyone. Agony is a choice. Don’t struggle. Adapt.
Explore: By paying attention to our genetic response, we can teach (habituate) ourselves to change that response.
It’s true that you may never have everything you need. You make do with what you have. There’s nothing quite so rare as a satisfied mind. Whatever is happening in your life that you don’t want, say, “Hmm... this is what’s happening; let’s see what happens next. This is what I’ve got. I’m going to make the most of it.” Now, you’ve created space to plan and strategize.
Acknowledge: I am the cause of most of my own suffering because of the habits of my own mind. It is true that the end of my suffering is possible. Everything passes, and I’m still here. I don’t have to be fighting with this moment. I’m sad – but I don’t have to make matters worse.
Things happen—life isn’t fair! Ask yourself, “Why me?” Face it, things happen to people. You’re a person. “Why not you?” This simple truth helps relieve the angst. Accepting this will make a positive difference for you and those around you.
Mantra
I can choose what I read
I can choose what fills my mind
I can choose who I greet
I am the master of me.
Wise Woman Words
Introspection is the key to understanding oneself. And only with comfortable knowledge of oneself can one find peace. – Deborah Szekely
I really needed this! Thank you:)